Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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