yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
