She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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