I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize