Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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