She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
