Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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