i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize