No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
