girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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