The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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