i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
