I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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