Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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