i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
