he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
