Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
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At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
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The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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