I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we made out on top of his cat.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
