i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
