Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
