Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize