It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
