pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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