oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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