I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
