I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
