I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
