The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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