It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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