i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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