i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
