Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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