My friends, they love my intelligence
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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