Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize