My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
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its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
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Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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