So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
