I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
