I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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