I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize