"it" just moved
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
