no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
