You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
