Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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