i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Couch. On fire.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
