AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
