somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
