y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
