He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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