just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I could make wine with my vomit
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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