please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
