My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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