Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
