He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
