your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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