ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
