How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
that's an acceptable place to lick
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
