Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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