there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
