It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
