hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
