he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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