Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
