i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
