Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I supernannyed him into submission
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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