what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
