I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize