I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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