I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
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Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize