U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
